Working with the Inner Child: A Journey Back to Your Authentic Self

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.”
— George Bernard Shaw

Many people feel intrigued by the idea of inner child work but aren’t sure exactly what it means, or how it could help. This work can be deeply transformative, offering a way to reconnect with hidden parts of ourselves, address old wounds, and reclaim joy, creativity, and wholeness.

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Origins of the Inner Child

The psychologist Carl Jung (1875–1961) first used the term inner child, describing it as part of the “divine child” archetype. Jung saw the psyche as a constellation of archetypal parts or subpersonalities — each with its own motivations, reactions, and personality traits.

Among the twelve archetypes Jung identified, the Innocent often reflects our inner child: the part of us that carries our earliest experiences, both joyful and wounding.

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The Innocent Archetype in Therapy

When the inner child emerges in therapy, it often holds our core wounds — the unmet needs and painful experiences of childhood. Sometimes, this part has been exiled from our awareness.

The first step is building relationship and safety. Through compassionate inquiry, acknowledgement, and consistent care, the inner child can begin to transform and integrate, no longer carrying its burdens alone.

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Theoretical Roots of Inner Child Work

Inner child work blends ideas from multiple frameworks:

• Jungian Shadow Work — integrating disowned aspects of the psyche
• Internal Family Systems (IFS) — Richard Schwartz’s model of parts and Self
• Attachment Theory — exploring early relational patterns
• Transactional Analysis — Eric Berne’s Parent–Adult–Child model
• Somatic Experiencing — Peter Levine’s body-based trauma work

These approaches agree on a core truth: our past shapes our present. Healing often requires engaging both the unconscious mind and the body’s stored wisdom.

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Trauma Responses and the Nervous System

Unresolved childhood wounds can live in the nervous system, replaying as trauma responses: fight, flight, freeze, fawn, or flop.

Polyvagal Theory (Stephen Porges) shows that we can rewire these responses without reliving the trauma — by creating new experiences of safety in the present. In many cases, the body’s expression of unmet developmental needs can be met directly through inner child connection.

As Dr Gabor Maté writes in When the Body Says No, the absence of safe emotional expression in childhood can contribute to lifelong patterns of repression, chronic stress, and even physical illness.

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Ancestral and Intergenerational Influences

Sometimes, the wounds our inner child carries are ancestral.
Epigenetic research shows that emotional patterns, fears, and even trauma responses can be passed down generations — sometimes linked to events our own ancestors experienced.

For example, shame around sexuality carried by a grandmother may unconsciously shape a grandchild’s relationships decades later. This is not about blame, but about recognising the continuity of human experience — and our ability to interrupt old patterns.

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The Wounded Inner Child and Survival Parts

Often, protective parts of us — the “gatekeepers” — have worked hard to keep the inner child hidden, using coping strategies like disassociation or over-control. These protectors deserve respect: they helped us survive.

Inner child work involves unblending from these parts and connecting with what IFS calls Self Energy — the calm, compassionate inner witness that can safely meet the child’s needs.

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Who is the Self?

In Internal Family Systems, the Self is the core of who we are, showing qualities such as calmness, curiosity, compassion, and clarity.

Carl Rogers, founder of Person-Centred Therapy, described the authentic self as having a natural tendency toward growth when met with empathy, unconditional positive regard, and congruence.

Carl Jung saw the Self as the unifying centre of the psyche, often symbolised by a mandala.

The Self — and, in therapy, the therapist’s attuned presence — becomes the constant, stable figure that can build trust with the inner child over time.

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Practical Ways to Connect with the Inner Child

• Dialogue — Write letters to and from your inner child in a journal
• Creative Expression — Draw, paint, or collage what your inner child loves
• Sensory Nurturing — Use touch, sound, scent, or movement that feels comforting
• Safe Space Visualization — Imagine a place where your child self feels completely secure
• Therapeutic Rituals — Symbolic acts to welcome the inner child out of hiding

The aim is to shift the relationship so the inner child feels heard, seen, and cared for — not silenced or ignored.

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A Lifelong Relationship

Working with the inner child is not a quick fix. It requires patience, trust, and gentle consistency. At its heart, this work is about restoring connection — not just to a younger self, but to our own capacity for joy, creativity, and emotional safety.

Thich Nhat Hanh (the Zen Buddhist monk, teacher, author & peace activist) reminds us:

“The cry we hear from deep in our hearts comes from the wounded child within. Healing this inner child’s pain is the key to transforming anger, sadness, and fear.”

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References & Influences:

• When the Body Says No — Dr Gabor Maté
• The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der Kolk
• Internal Family Systems Therapy — Dr Richard Schwartz
• Polyvagal Theory — Dr Stephen Porges

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If you’d like to explore inner child work in a safe, compassionate space, I offer one-to-one sessions in-person in Somerset and online across the UK.
Together, we can walk gently toward the parts of you that are ready to be seen.

Send me a message
To book a free 20 minute consultation